BZHAnne's Blog

I went to see 10,000 BC yesterday. I had looked forward to it for a number of reasons, all of them named Steven Strait, (my hunk-of-the-month pick).

If you are totally ignorant of the following: paleontology, paleobotany, archaeology, ancient history, ethnology, climatology and indeed every science which deals with knowledge of the past, it's a crackin' good adventure film.

If, however, you have more than a passing familiarity with any of the above I must warn you, your willing suspension of disbelief is gonna get clobbered BIG TIME!

How, you ask?

A) Wooly mammoths, a far north ice age mammal, pulling tonnes of stone up a compressed dirt ramp for a pyramid in Egypt. You know Egypt, the DESERT! The HOT desert?

B) A sabre-tooth cat in either northern Egypt of the southernmost part of the Levant. Since they were extinct some several thousand years prior to anyone building much of anything, much less pyramids, well.....

C) A bamboo forest, again either in northern Egypt or the southeastern part of the Levant. Bamboo is indigenous to ASIA, some 8,000 miles away.

D) Being able to trek from icy mountain wastes on foot to the desert of Egypt and the banks of the Nile in a month.

E) A bad guy who's very possibly the "last Atlantean" leading a bunch of factotums who bear a startling resemblance to native Central American tribes.

F) And the big kicker: a pair of Gastornis stomping through that bamboo forest gnoshing on any human they can catch. What's a Gastornis? It's a 15 foot tall flightless bird, carnivorous, and extinct for 20 million years prior to 10,000BC.

So, what you got is a bunch of ice-age mammoth hunters (the good guys), Atlantean slave raiders and pyramid builders (the bad guys) who use mammoths as draft animals and live in northern Egypt which is next door to a bamboo forest riddled with sabre-tooth cats and terror birds.

But hey, if you're 10 and your idea of science has been gleaned from the Sunday supplements and Marvel Comics, then you just might really like this film. It's got lots of action, mayhem, and some nifty stampeding mammoth scenes. And for the pre-adolescent female, it's got a sweet love story, complete with happy ending. Ain't that nice!?

Sorry Steven, I'll just keep popping "Sky High" and "The Covenant" into my DVD player. They're both better pics than this mishmash of creatures, places, timeframes and overall silliness. *deep sigh of regret* And to think that Roland Emmerich COULD have had a real contender, especially in the special effects arena, if only he'd have used a bit of his budget for a science advisor, or at least a student to Google the necessary and very accessible knowledge concerning our past. Ah, well......maybe next time.

I put ads in one of three categories.

A. Heart-lifting

B. *wink-wink*, *nudge-nudge*, you know...

C. Where's the mute on that d**n remote?

Here's my picks.

A.  1) Budweiser does it again with "Training Hank". Superb! Perfection! They just get better at this every year.

      2) Bridgestone's "Screamin' Squirrel". Anything with cute little forest critters always gets my vote, especially since the product saved the cute little forest critter's life.

B. 1) Victoria's Secret "After the Game"...'nough said.

     2) Bud Light w/Will Ferrell's Jackie Moon "endorsement" attempts. A bit raunchy, but hilarious.

C. 1) Carmax.com, both of them. Sad when funny ends up being silly.

     2) E-Trade's Infant, both of them. Sadder when funny ends up being disgusting.

Honorable Mention: Cavemen Bud party. Using "sucks" was what kept it from the top tier. Very lower class and not in a funny way. But I'm a sucker for cavemen ads.

I believe that these people desparately need to get a life. The sudden, tragic demise of such a promising young actor is a matter for sorrow, NOT the self-righteous posturings of a bunch of pseudo-Christians with nothing in their hearts but hate and nothing in their souls but prejudice.

To them I say, "Judge not, lest you be so judged". Hoo hah, boychik, are you guys in deep, dark-brown doo-doo in the very last place in creation you wanta be in deep, dark-brown doo-doo.

For those who knew the young man and who will be feeling his loss for many years to come, I extend my heartfelt compassion and share your pain insofar as a stranger can do.

Eternal rest grant unto him, o Lord, and may the perpetual Light shine upon him. May his soul and the souls of all the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen.

Here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about folks fromTexas...

If someone in a Lowe's store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you may live in Texas ;

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you may live in Texas ;

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you may live in Texas ;

If 'Vacation' means going anywhere south of Dallas for the weekend, you may live in Texas ;

If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Texas ;

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you may live in Texas ;

If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you may live in Texas ;

If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you may live in Texas ;

If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -- you're going 80 and everybody's passing you, you may live in Texas ;

If you find 60 degrees 'a little chilly,' you may live in Texas ;

If you actually understand these jokes, and share them with all your Texas friends, you definitely live in Texas .

Need to be cheered up?

Happy, Texas 79042
Pep, Texas 79353
Smiley, Texas 78159
Paradise, Texas 76073
Rainbow, Texas 76077
Sweet Home, Texas 77987
Comfort, Texas 78013
Friendship, Texas 76530

Love the Sun?

Sun City , Texas 78628
Sunrise, Texas 76661
Sunset, Texas 76270
Sundown, Texas 79372
Sunray, Texas 79086
Sunny Side , Texas 77423

Want something to eat?

Bacon, Texas 76301
Noodle, Texas 79536
Oatmeal, Texas 78605
Turkey , Texas 79261
Trout , Texas 75789
Sugar Land, Texas 77479
Salty, Texas 76567
Rice, Texas 75155
And top it off with:
Sweetwater, Texas 79556

Why travel to other cities? Texas has them all!

Detroit , Texas 75436
Colorado City, Texas 79512
Denver City, Texas 79323
Klondike, Texas 75448
Nevada , Texas 75173
Memphis , Texas 79245
Miami , Texas 79059
Boston , Texas 75570
Santa Fe , Texas 77517
Tennessee Colony, Texas 75861
Reno , Texas 75462

Feel like traveling outside the country? Don't bother buying a plane ticket!

Athens , Texas 75751
Canadian, Texas 79014
China , Texas 77613
Egypt, Texas 77436
Ireland, Texas 76538
Turkey, Texas 79261
London, Texas 76854
New London, Texas 75682
Paris, Texas 75460

No need to travel to Washington D.C.
Whitehouse, Texas 75791

We even have a city named after our planet!

Earth, Texas 79031

And a city named after our State!

Texas City, Texas 77590

Exhausted?

Energy, Texas 76452

Cold?

Blanket, Texas 76432

Winters, Texas

Like to read about History?

Santa Anna, Texas

Goliad, Texas

Alamo, Texas

Gun Barrel City, Texas

Robert lee, Texas

Need Office Supplies?

Staples, Texas 78670

Men are from Mars, women are from Venus, Texas 76084

You guessed it..it's on the state line..

Texline, Texas 79087

For the kids...

Kermit, Texas 79745
Elmo, Texas 75118
Nemo, Texas 76070
Tarzan, Texas 79783
Winnie, Texas 77665
Sylvester, Texas 79560

Other city names in Texas , to make you smile.....

Frognot, Texas 75424
Bigfoot, Texas 78005
Hogeye, Texas 75423
Cactus, Texas 79013
Notrees, Texas 79759
Best, Texas 76932
Veribest, Texas 76886
Kickapoo, Texas 75763
Dime Box, Texas 77853
Old Dime Box, Texas 77853
Telephone, Texas 75488
Telegraph, Texas 76883
Whiteface, Texas 79379
Twitty, Texas 79079

And last but not least, the Anti-Al Gore City

Kilgore, Texas 75662

And our favorites...

Cut n Shoot, Texas
Gun Barrell City, Texas
Hoop And Holler, Texas
Ding Dong, Texas and, of course,
Muleshoe , Texas

Here are some little known, very interesting facts about Texas .

1. Beaumont to El Paso: 742 miles

2. Beaumont to Chicago: 770 miles

3. El Paso is closer to California than to Dallas

4. World's first rodeo was in Pecos, July 4, 1883.

5. The Flagship Hotel in Galveston is the only hotel in North America built over water.

6. The Heisman Trophy ws named after John William Heisman who was the first full-time coach at Rice University in Houston.

7. Brazoria County has more species of birds than any other area in North America.

8. Aransas Wildlife Refuge is the winter home of North America's only remaining flock of whooping cranes.

9. Jalapeno jelly originated in Lake Jackson in 1978.

10. The worst natural disaster in U.S . history was in 1900, caused by a hurricane, in which over 8,000 lives were lost on GalvestonIsland.

11. The first word spoken from the moon, July 20, 1969, was ' Houston.'

12. King Ranch in South Texas is larger than Rhode Island.

13. Tropical Storm Claudette brought a U.S. rainfall record of 43' in 24 hours in and around Alvin in July of 1979.

14. Texas is the only state to enter the U.S. by TREATY, (known as the Constitution of 1845 by the Republic of Texas to enter the Union) instead of by annexation. This allows the Texas Flag to fly at the same height as the U.S. Flag, and may divide into 5 states.

15. A Live Oak tree near Fulton is estimated to be 1500 years old.

16. Caddo Lake is the only natural lake in the state.

17. Dr Pepper was invented in Waco in 1885. There is no period in Dr Pepper.

18. Texas has had six capital cities: Washington-on- the Brazos, Harrisburg, Galveston, Velasco, West Columbia and Austin.

19. The Capitol Dome in Austin is the only dome in the U.S. which is taller than the Capitol Building in Washington DC (by 7 feet).

20. The name 'Texas' comes from the Hasini Indian word 'tejas' meaning friends. Tejas is not Spanish for Texas.

21. The State Mascot is the Armadillo (an interesting bit of trivia about the armadillo is they always have four babies. They have one egg, which splits into four, and they either have four males or four females.).

22. The first domed stadium in the U.S. was the Astrodome in Houston.

Cowboy's Ten Commandments posted on the wall at Cross Trails Church in Fairlie, Texas:

(1) Just one God.

(2) Honor yer Ma & Pa.

(3) No telling tales or gossipin'.

(4) Git yourself to Sunday meeting.

(5) Put nothin' before God.

(6) No foolin' around with another fellow's gal.

(7) No killin'.

(8) Watch yer mouth.

(9) Don't take what ain't yers.

(10) Don't be hankerin' for yer buddy's stuff

Now that's kinda plain an' simple don'tcha think?

Survivor: China. Nah. None of guys are hunky enough to make it worth my while watching them sweat and practice their backstabbing skills.

Beauty and the Geek. Oy vey ist mir! The geeks are so geeky they should be granted a patent. And the beauties ,while undeniably lovely, appear to have only 6 working brain cells among them. For their sake, I hereby give the answer to one of the questions that so thoroughly stumped them last night.

Some COUNTRIES (note ladies, a country is NOT the same as a state OR a continent): in alphabetic order:

Australia, Bolivia, Columbia, Denmark, England, France, Germany, Hungary, Ireland, Japan, Kenya, Libya, Mali, Norway, Oman, Paraguay, Qatar, Russia, Sweden, Tibet, Uruguay, Venezuela, Wales, no X, Yemen, and Zimbabwe. There are, of course, many others, but these are mostly not in the news so you mighta got extra points for knowing them. Pity.

I GOTTA keep watching this show! I think it's gonna be the best new comedy on tv this season. Oh? What's that you say? It's NOT a comedy? Coulda fooled me.

No offense, Lord, but c'mon! Really! Did you hafta take Pavarotti so soon? I mean, it's not like You don't have any other tenors for Your choir. You got Caruso, You got Lanza.  Why did You decide you needed Pavarotti too?

We'll miss him, Daddy. A lot!

Pretty please, with Jesus on it, leave Domingo and Carreras with us for awhile longer, won't You?

Thank You.

I'm sitting here, taking a break,listening to the main theme for Star Wars right after listening to one of the themes for The Lord of the Rings. All of a sudden it hit me. Gracious to goodness. These are Messianic visions.

You know, Evil is running rampant through creation doing its dastardly deeds and along comes Mr. Messiah, who, with the aid of His trusty servitors and a comely handmaiden or two, proceeds to do in the nasty Galactic Overlord (devil, Sauron, Palpatine). The name's not important; only that this is the very epitome of evil.

I find myself wondering if that's the REAL basis for the popularity of these two films. Doesn't it satisfy something deep within us all to watch the bad guys get clobbered for good? Don't we wish it would happen in real life, not just in reel life?

Uh, this is gonna grate on you non-religious and/or non-Christian types, but you know me, I take no guff from nobody! So here goes.

Guys, it's a fait accompli! Himself did it almost 2,000 years ago. All that's left is for us to clean up our own individual acts and behave toward others as we would have them behave toward us. I know, I know, it's a tall order, especially in view of the very large number of politically incorrect types (read terrorists) charging about the planet doing their level best to make all of mankind NOT themselves as extinct as the dodos we all too often resemble. But it strikes me that if each of us will just do our best to BE the best we can be, then think, just think what it could mean. There are millions and millions of basically decent people on this old earth. You're one of them. YOU be nice. Let others do their own schtick. YOU MAKE NICE! That's all. You don't have to harry folks or criticize them or mock them to get them to do it your way. Just make nice on each person you meet.

Making nice on you who read this blog.... HI there! Glad to "see" ya. Hope everything in your life is hummin' right along. God bless you, every one!

I was watching an entertainment show last night and they replayed a portion of the morning talk show the "View". I got to witness the "shootin' " match between Rosie and Elizabeth.

Now I must say that I do not know who this Elizabeth is, since I don't watch the program. But I DO know Rosie. Frankly I suspect that everyone within shouting distance of her voice probably knows her now.

What I witnessed in that squib was a display of discourtesy that were I either one's mother, I should drag the brat off the stage and administer a goodly does of soap to mouth.

Rosie O'Donnell made her name through comedy and I understand that she's considered quite talented in that arena. I know she once had her own talk show and that people called her a nice person. What I wonder, therefore is; who IS this person who so resembles Rosie in form and feature but who so obviously is an alien plant, for there appears nothing nice in the makeup of this woman on the "View" who calls herself "Rosie".

Is it because her show was canceled and she's not got over the implied rejection as yet? Is it because she's trying to stretch herself by entering wider arenas like political analysis or commentary and failing miserably? Is it because she's not getting any younger and begins to feel the relentless push of diminishing time to accomplish her goals in life? I do not know and will not guess.

What I do know is that the Rosie O'Donnell I saw yesterday evening is a person that I would gladly walk miles to avoid! Loud, obnoxious, rude, crass, coarse and thoroughly unlikable. UGH!

I understand she is leaving the "View". Could she perhaps be persuaded to leave the country as well? Perhaps take up residence in Iran? I'm sure those Wahabist Muslims could turn her vinegar to honey or if not, they would have no compunction about cutting out her tongue. Aahhh, the blessed silence which would ensue.

Where's Carol Burnett when we need her!?

The above is a personal opinion and frankly, I don't care what anybody else thinks of her. I merely wish to be afforded the pleasure of her absence. Since you won't change my mind on this score (and yes, I know about her work for charity and I know about her kids and I STILL would rather forget that I have to share a planet with her), any observations pro-Rosie will not be read by me. Sorry, kidlets, but it is MY blog, after all.