Colors For Paraffin (Grown-up Edition)

I'm wrecked, man. I am drained and I don't know what to do. Now they have come into my home and told me what I cannot do in my own home...and this was never some established "policy" that I signed off on ahead of time. I would have never signed anything that took away my first-ammendment rights.

A week ago, we had another wedding party at our hotel. I can no longer say the name of our hotel in a less-than-flattering context or I will be fired, so excuse the anonymity. And yes, I'll explain why...keep reading.

So the S.O.B's who stayed at our hotel caused a ruckus the likes of which has never been caused before. I even caught them stealing liquor from the bar. A guy was arrested at around 4:00 in the afternoon for being so drunk that he picked a very violent fight with another guy from the wedding party.

Twelve hours later, after fighting with them all damned night long, most of them were finally kicked out by the police. Another guy was arrested for being a mouthy you-know-what to the police. It was a night of hell for me. I was so stressed-out by the end of it...the feeling was just indescribable. I'm so sick of the same damned thing with every wedding party.

To put things into perspective, they kept so many of the guests awake for so long, that we had to give out as much money as we made from their stupid wedding party. Yet their argument is always the same when we confront them for disturbing other guests, "Do you have any idea how much money we gave your hotel today?" ...Doesn't so much matter if we lose that exact same amount, now does it?

So anyway, I took my frustrations to the "less grown-up" version of "Colors For Paraffin;" to the blog on my myspace. I said very hateful things about the idiots who ruined last Saturday night for so many people. I cursed aplenty. No matter what you may think about that, I have just as much right to do it as anyone else who vents on myspace.

But the Nazis where I work (allegedly) have a Google-alert system that alerts them whenever the name of our business is mentioned (good or bad) on the web. They "found" my very scathing remarks mixed in with the name of our hotel. It was demanded that it be deleted under the threat that I'd be fired. But the worst part is that they had to tell everyone, including my girlfriend who never would have known otherwise.

Since I was going to take the post down anyway, I deleted it. But I'm really pissed off at being "demanded" to. I posted those angry words in my own home. Nobody reads my myspace blog and I can tell by the view-counter. Even if someone did; what's the worst that could happen? Let me put forth a scenario:

Fred & Ethel from Knoxville, Tenn. are planning a trip;
"Gee hon, what do you say we take a trip up to New England? What hotel should we stay at? Let's browse myspace and see if there are any comments about hotels up there..."
-Do you see what I mean? What am I missing? How could comments on a myspace blog be so damaging to a hotel? Even if I were saying something bad about the hotel itself (which I wasn't!)

What's the other scenario?
Joe Blow is browsing myspace when he lands on my scathing blog-posting. "What? This guy was angry just because drunk people were disturbing the guests that were trying to sleep? What a jerk! I like to go to hotels and get drunk & loud until I wake everybody up! I'll never stay at that place!"
-Would that be so horrible?

I just don't get it. How can they stuff a gag in my mouth when my frustration was really caused by their broken promises in the first place? They promised that I would get extra help on nights when we had wedding parties. I got extra help ONCE. I foam at the mouth on myspace about my frustration...and they can't wait to tell my girlfriend and threaten me with a firing.

My question is, #1); Is this fair? #2); Is this legal? #3); Is it ethical?

What would you do if you were me? Don't say "quit" because I can't. I need this job. I don't know that the grass is greener wherever else I might go, either.

It seems kind of funny even to me that I’m posing this question, because I fully admit that there are many qualities about me that certain people would find very unmanly. I’m very sensitive; I cry if something tugs at my heartstrings, I adore the mere sight of a little baby… (Etc.)

However, I also think that society seems to have gone absolutely insane in the limp-wristed pursuit to overprotect our children. I think certain traffic reporters dress very effeminately. I think guys like Jon Bon Jovi come off like little fairies. I think Bill Bellichick’s choice of sideline attire at football games is manly, not something to be disparaged. In fact, I have to question the masculinity of the so-called “men” who are questioning Bill; because when I look at Bill Bellichick, I see a man looking, acting, and sounding very much like one.

On the same topic of sports, basketball coach Bobby Knight caused quite a bit of controversy recently for his “chin-push” on one of his players. Some people were really angry at this so-called “outrageous” behavior. Are you kidding me? Did anyone see the video clip? Man-up, you panty-waist! If that player (whose name I don’t know) was truly upset about that so-called “strike” or “hit” then stick him in a dress for cryin’ out loud, because in my mind he gets the “wuss of the year” award.

When I was a kid, sports coaches were tough. My coaches were ball-busters. If I ever so disrespectfully talked back to my dad, I’d have gotten a smack in the chops, and neither DSS nor the police would have been involved. And guess what? I love my dad very much. Now kids get away with murder because it’s technically illegal to hit your kid. There was a guy from Plymouth a few years back who was thrown in jail for spanking his own kid with a belt – true story.

Parents in general have lost their “stones.” It seems parents are too worried about their kids either not liking them or considering them “uncool” that they just let their kids get away with anything. As a result, the kids get set up for a huge fall. They grow up with this sense of “entitlement,” and they become limp-wristed little liberals. There is absolutely no such thing as a liberal that can be called a real man. Uh-uh. No way.

It’s just a pretty lonely feeling I get when I look around me and see more men that act more like effete little girls than real men. -Especially the younger men. There are still plenty of old-schoolers around to admire, but sometimes I get a sense that real men are going the way of the dinosaur.

Did anybody watch this show on Tuesday night? It's always at least worth a look even if it's not the most musically diverse show in the world.

Jimmy Kimmel hosted the big shindig and made it worth watching with his jokes about Kevin Federline ("Fed-Ex") alone. He said things like, "You know, people keep comparing Kevin Federline to Vanilla Ice, but that's really not even fair...Vanilla Ice had a hit! Kevin Federline might be the first no-hit-wonder." -Hilarious to those of us who find "K-Fed/Fed-Ex" so obnoxious.

The night was filled with the usual middle-of-the-road music acts; Beyonce, Rascal Flatts, Pussycat Dolls, Black-eyed Peas, Red Hot Chilli Peppers, Gwen Stefani, Jay-Z, Nickelbarf...oops, I mean "back."

You know, there was nothing so bloody awful that it made you want to kill yourself, but nothing to keep you from switching over to Fox's House at 9:00, either. I did record the remainder of the broadcast though because I really wanted to hear Gwen Stefani's new song, "Wind It Up," which made it's debut on the show. It turned out to be less than impressive...basically a re-hash of "Hollaback Girl." But millions of teenaged girls will love it and buy it; so Gwen can afford a great future for her baby, Kingston Rossdale. Lest you forget, Gwen is married to former Bush frontman gone losing solo-artist; Gavin Rossdale.

I can't tell you who won what award, but does it really matter? I remember that the Red Hot Chilli Peppers won quite a few, which I find pretty cool. But there are just so many award-shows that people aren't watching nowadays that I don't think it matters much anymore. There's nothing particularly "special" about a music awards show anymore. If you miss one...wait a few weeks! -And nothing puts the "American" in music awards shows more than that!

So, surely by now you've all figured out that those lines outside of all of the big department stores weren't there because the new Celine Dion CD just dropped. No, those people generally aren't shooting each other to hear that Canuck's octave-range. Oh boy, suddenly I'm writing a "Wade A Minute" for David Wade!

Seriously now...we've all heard the stories of the ridiculous people buying PS3's on ebay for the equivalent price of a couple of Hyundai's, and many of us are very disgusted by these facts as they come out. Didn't Jesus upturn the money tables in the temples? And this is what season-? Yeah...I'd love to say I'm surprised, but...

No reported violence in the lines for Nintendo's Wii, though. It WOULD surprise me if there were violence in THAT line, given the crowd that has been generally attracted to the Wii. It's a much more intelligent, mature, refined crowd of folks that find appeal in the wands of the Wii. It's just that kind of gaming system; and it's about half the cost of the overrated, over-hyped PS3.

I hope whomever had to take a bullet for the PS3 got their money's worth...hopefully even enough to buy a couple of Hyundai's. But I'm looking forward to getting myself a Wii sometime in the near future. I won't be waiting in any lines, or dodging any bullets. I'll just be a guy who peacefully walks into the store when they've got plenty to spare (and maybe the price has dropped a bit) and brings home a gaming system that I can enjoy with the kids. Am I boring or what?

I've been working at the John Carver Inn for twelve years now. I'd like to preface with a little backstory if you'd so indulge me.

In 1990, I moved from Plymouth, Massachusetts back up to Wilton, Maine; just a town away from where I graduated from high-school. After a very nasty divorce from a woman who made me think she was a sweetie until peeling off the mask to reveal a vile xanthippe, I jumped into a relationship with a woman eleven years my senior. My new girlfriend and me had one important thing in common; we were both alcoholics. Well, while I was married I hadn't ONCE touched a DROP. When I capitulated to the fact that my marriage was a bust, I fell back into the booze.
A year after my "rebound girlfriend," I realized that her insecurities were pushing me out. She was a gorgeous woman who couldn't believe that she was attractive enough or good enough to hang onto a guy my age. But she was very obsessive, and I knew that I'd have to come back to Massachusetts -- a very difficult move.
When I left Massachusetts, I went to Maine and very foolishly pissed-away all of my college money on the woman I eventually married. I blew my future on a foolish whim. Let it be a lesson for anyone out there about to embark on a potentially stupid journey. When I came back to Massachsetts after everything had fallen apart, I had nothing to come back WITH or TO.

I got a job at the Hearth-N-Kettle/John Carver Inn. I started off washing dishes and bussing tables. Back then (and believe me, this has radically changed for the worse) a busboy could walk out of the Hearth-N-Kettle dining room with as much as a hundred bucks in tips! I was really doing alright for myself. Now a busboy is lucky to walk out with twenty bucks...poor guys. Blame the stupid overdevelopment of Plymouth, and the influx of like a hundred new restaurants.
After doing that job for a while, there was a buzz about a new position opening up: one with a lot of responsibility and required trust, one that you had to be willing to work during the overnight hours to do; it was called a "night porter."
Being the newbie, I didn't think I stood a chance. There were three other guys that had been there longer than I had been; and they all wanted it, so I didn't even ASK for it.
But then one day my supervisor and the innkeeper called me into "the big office." I couldn't have imagined what they wanted. As it turned out, they offered the highly coveted postion to me.
"Why me?" I asked them. I remember the answer verbatim. "We need someone we can TRUST...someone who will actually DO the job...somebody who won't crap around sneaking friends in and goofing off...someone who will be sure to greet the guests warmly and care about their concerns...and we know that you're perfect for this. This is a huge responsibility; one we're confident that you'll take very seriously and do very well." -That was in 1995. I took the position and with the generous raises I've been given every time I found another job with higher pay, I haven't been able to leave. Oh, by the way...I don't have any problem with alcohol any more; not since about 1998.

But recently there's been a turn that has made the workplace very miserable for me. Even though the last time I got a very large raise (about five years ago) I was promised forty hours, those hours have been slashed to a mere thirty-five.
I was told that cuts were being made across the board, and for a few weeks they were. But since then, other workers hours have increased back to normal, but only mine have remained cut.
Only one manager has a problem with me working my (promised) full forty hours, and it's a manager who seems to enjoy bullying me. But the problem is that he's in charge of payroll. The other managers have made it obvious that they know he's full of crap and is just being a jerk, but they're powerless to do anything about it.
Basically, my hours have been cut because I make the most money. I've been b.s.'d to the nth degree, because they keep giving me my yearly raise, but they've cut my hours so that I make even less than I did before I got my last raise. But I also suspect that the manager in question takes a lot of pressure in his "power-tripping," and only his best buddies would disagree with that.
Christmas is coming, and this Ebenezer Scrooge is giving me a load of unecessary stress. We've been doing plenty of business for me to get at least thirty-seven hours; and that's all I want! I can live with not getting the full forty as I was promised, but this jerk won't even let me get thirty-seven!
Does anyone out there have any suggestions for me? I have no idea what my rights are (or if I even have any). When I was promised the forty-hours, it was an oral agreement made by a man who has since passed away. Am I totally screwed?

So Fox is airing an interview with OJ Simpson done by well-known publisher, Judith Regan; who is apparently publishing OJ’s book based on the subject matter of the interview.

Upon this news, there’s been a national outcry. It seems there aren’t very many people happy with the idea that OJ is going to profit from this media attention. -But why? After all, killers the likes of Charles Manson have been interviewed before – so why is there all of this venom being spewed about the OJ interview?

It’s very simple. None of us are foolish enough to believe that OJ will not profit from the interview and the book. The interview, in fact, is more or less just an info-mercial for his book. This is a man that not only got away with murder simply because he’s a black man who faced a black jury -- but now stands to profit from that very simple fact. It’s an affront to the rest of us. It’s an abomination; and never has that word been more fitting.

While this society has become mostly jaded, and tolerates televised retarded garbage like “Family Guy,” “The War At Home,” “The OC,” and other assorted brain-melting drivel from Fox, it seems they’ve drawn a line at the tips of OJ’s toes. I, personally, applaud them. Not all hope is lost, it seems. In fact, I’m thankful this has happened in that respect. It’s good to see that people will still take a stand for something, and voice such outrage and contempt for something so reprehensible.

So if Fox wants to “do the right thing here” (to use that infamous Johnnie Cochran phrase) they should pull the plug on this interview. They may otherwise be very surprised at the fallout.

Winter is rapidly approaching, but I just found this poem that I wrote back in August that I posted on Allpoetry.com
Some of the imagery I put in this piece really took me right back to the thing I like best about summertime; the night. Check it out:


I cast my line
out to the sea of strangers
I beckon the one like me
My anxious spine tells me
to do my fishing quickly
and the soreness
of my bended knee.

The crickets don't sing in darkness
much longer
and the moon entreats me
to bask
in it's glow
And to walk in the dew-painted grass
that's grown up
and curved downward
on a lawn
I've hesitated to mow.

So I leave this bait
out in the ocean
in the hopes I will hook you now
and again
But now I must walk in the solitude
before sunrise
upon which
I'll return to my den.

I don't think we've become "the evil empire pt. 2" like VB suggested this morning, but BLEEP??
If we ever DO become like New York, I'll have to start routin' for the Cards.

I don't get Joe Battenfeld sometimes. Did anyone see his report on Deval Patrick's meeting with Sal DiMasi and Robert Travagalini? (sp?)

I don't get what was said that was so outrageous that they "must not have known their mics were on-?" They were saying the kinds of things they could have just as easily said in front of thousands of citizens into a PA, and nobody would have batted an eyelash.

Having said that, it was his (Deval Patrick's) public statement to the press that I'm going to remember and keep referring to when he inevitably contradicts it SEVERAL TIMES.

I don't recall his exact quote, but it was something to the effect of "...if they think I'm going to be a rubber stamp, they're in for a surprise..." Yeah...OK, Deval! Why do I have a hard time believing THAT one? You've already told us about the $120million you're going to be calling for as soon as you step into office. What exactly will you be saying "no" too? What in the hell could they possibly ask for that you would refuse...when you're going to give illegal immigrants driver's licenses and in-state tuitions?

You foolish voters out there WILL be very sorry. I feel like I'm bracing for the biggest "poop-storm" in Massachusetts history.

So this case was closed, but because some overzealous amateur with a camera "caught it on tape," now the 'Feds' are involved.

Look, this S.O.B. was a gang-banger. As far as I'm concerned, I don't think he deserves our sympathy. The cops have to deal with these losers every day, and if they want to pound them into the ground I don't care nor do I blame them. In fact, if I were there and saw that woman with the camera I might have broken it.

What are we going to do-? ...Fire police officers every time they punch a criminal in the head? I don't think so. If they start punching people for jaywalking, maybe. Let's err on the side of law-enforcement; not law-BREAKERS!

That woman (the one with the camera) was on the news saying, "...He was screaming that he couldn't breathe!" Uh...hello! Screaming requires breath in the lungs, sweetheart. They all scream and try to act like they're the real victims...bullcrap! If you don't want to get punched by the cops, don't do something to deserve it. Gang-bangers are not "sweethearts."

I went to my second cousin (Crystal Ianucci's) wedding over the weekend - (I can't recall her new last name).

...Big-time actor Chris Cooper was there. I especially loved his character in the film "Adaptation." If you haven't seen that, go rent it. Chris picked up a highly-deserved Oscar for "best supporting-role."

He's also been in "Sea Biscuit," "The Patriot," and dozens of other films. He's one of these guys that doesn't have that attention-getting name like Tom Cruise or Harrison Ford, but trust me, he's as good or better than any actor out there.

Chris' character in "Adaptation" was quite seriously one of my favorite characters in any film ever - I really mean that. I wanted to go up to him and talk to him at the wedding, but I figured I'd probably just annoy the guy...I didn't really know what to say to him..."duhhh...loved you in Adaptation..." I fear sounding like a noob.

It's sad, because I would love to ask him how I could break into acting, because I'm a natural. I've only been in plays, but I know I could very easily be a great screen actor. I lack gumption I guess...

...News sure to cause Cheerios to shoot through Strangehose's nostrils...Wal-Mart has decided to allow Christmas to be fully recognized and celebrated in it's stores.

Yep, employees can actually say "Merry Christmas" (gasp!) and Christmas songs will be played in the stores. Can you imagine all the liberals with their veins bulging in their foreheads because Christ is being acknowledged publicly?

The funny thing is that they have such little understanding of what "state" is, that there will be some out there crying "What about seperation of church and state?" LOL

Nancy Pelosi (ringleader of the new democrat whack-pack) made the haunting promise that "This will be the most ethical congress in history..." (or something to that effect.)

Gee...I seem to remember a certain someone else saying something like that...who was it...? Oh, yeah! It was Bill Clinton who promised that his would be "...the most ethical administration in history." Mmm-hmmh. Yeah. ...Anyone see where this is going?

The democrats need to do more than attack George Bush. It seems like that's all they've got, because I haven't heard any ideas of how they're going to accomplish anything. What exactly are there ideas? OK...so we withdraw from Iraq, and consequently it falls to pieces and everything we've done thus far is all in vain. Then what-?

I was against the war from the beginning, but I don't know that withdrawing from Iraq is the answer at this point. I think many Americans aren't thinking about the fallout; only that they're sick of the violence and the American casualties.

Will the democrats do away with the Bush tax-cuts? How many of you want your taxes raised? Personally, I think it's a horrible idea as well as a huge step backward.

I realize the Delay's and the Abrahamoff's of the republican party are the biggest reason for this "shakeup," and I shrug my shoulders and say "Yeah...makes sense." But what did the American people vote for-? Do we want the democrats to spend all of their time "investigating" this one, and digging up dirt on the next Mark Foley? Or do we EXPECT that they might actually accomplish something?

I think Nancy Pelosi's proclaimation can be filed under "thou doth protesteth too much." Instead of saying "We're going to get right to work serving America," they instead shouted from the rooftop "We're better than those dirty rat republicans!" The question remains; can they prove it?

So I think this may be the first year of many that I don't make it to the auto show. I'm very bummed.

But I want to know; how many of you are going? How many of you have been? What's your favorite car? Mine is the Infiniti FX 35. I love Infinitis in general. I also love the QX 56 and the M 35.

If you ask me, both Lexxus and BMW has too much of that "uppity" image that I despise. Infinitis are very cool luxury cars without the "yuppie stench."

One of my best friends drives a "Beamer" and loves it. He loves BMW's in general. I always tease him about it. There's that joke; "What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? On a porcupine, the pricks are on the OUTSIDE."
LOL

A couple of my favorites (besides every Infiniti model) from last year were the Mitsubishi Raider (nice little truck!) and (to my unbelievable surprise) the Suzuki Grand Vitara. My biggest disappointments (hate to say it) were Fords and Chevy's; they just bored me. I drive a Chrysler PT Cruiser, so I was interested in Chevy's knockoff; the HHR, which I hated. I loved the Chryslers though. I'd love to have a Chrysler 300...nice!

Check out Infiniti at www.infiniti.com

Mr. Douglas Goudie ("VB");

I was wondering if you read any of the blogs besides your own, and if you do, which-?

I'd love to hear your thoughts and comments on any of my blog entries; good or bad. Even if you think I'm a totally pompous "diaper" (as you euphemize it) I'd love to hear it.

So please...feel free to grade me if you want. Tell me you like me, or tell me you can't stand me. You've read about a hundred of my emails, so I suspect you don't think I'm that bad. But who knows...? Maybe you've gotten to know me better on the blogs and I make you nauseous.

...But maybe you haven't read my stuff, but you've read someone else's. Whatever... I'm sure the other bloggers would love to hear your opinions on their writings as well. So please...talk to us.
-David from Plympton