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by KevinBoie_FOX4

Last Post 25 days, 2 hours Ago


Do Not Attempt
May 15, 2008 | 12:17 PM
Category: Entertainment
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The verdict is in -- we're guilty of fear mongering and turning a blind eye to blind justice, and common sense. The evidence? Three pervasive little words: "Do Not Attempt."

They're the must-have legal lingo of the litigious age. I see them every day in TV land, especially in commercials.

Exhibit A: The Quiznos sub commercials featuring various individuals eating $5 bills. The tag line is "If you’re going to eat $5, shouldn’t you get your money's worth?" Like clockwork, as the ravenous diner stuffs the fin spot into his or her gullet, the tried and true "do not attempt" fades in at the bottom of the screen.

Exhibit B: The Burger King commercials hocking a new sandwich you simply can’t wait to devour. To illustrate the point, one ad shows a man at the drive through plowing into the car in front of him, pushing it past the drive through window so he can place his urgent order for the beloved burger. You know what's at the bottom of the screen below the action.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I ask you. Doesn’t this meet the legal definition of insanity? Getting sued sucks. It can cost time and money. But doesn’t the likely outcome of would-be frivolous lawsuits factor in at all?

Let's say I down a $5 bill. It gets lodged in my throat and requires surgical removal, causing pain and, of course, "emotional distress." I sue Quiznos and the case actually makes it to the courtroom. My testimony goes something like, "I was really hungry, had no food at home and that's when I saw the commercial, your honor. I never thought about satiating my appetite with currency -- never even knew it was possible -- until Quiznos suggested it was."

Could the judge, would the judge, actually rule in my favor? Even if he did, isn’t it likely the case would be thrown out on appeal?

My point, jury people, is that a few brave corporations should take a stand -- throw that ridiculous legal disclaimer out the window and take on any resulting lawsuits. Doing so might stem the tide of idiocy and make common sense the rule of the land. Case dismissed.

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Member Comments Total Comments: 17
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momcat54 read my blog view my photos
May 15, 2008 | 2:23 PM

I agree completely, Sadly, there seem to be more idiots out there everyday and while they all don't seem to have more then two braincells they can still manage to call a lawyer as fast as they can get out of the hospital they put themselves into.
chardoney read my blog view my photos
May 15, 2008 | 4:48 PM

If the judge were a lib, you migh well win your case against Quiznos, kev. LOL Someone needs to sue for common sense to be returned to the country. :)
Brokenhalo
May 15, 2008 | 5:25 PM

Judge Judy would give you the bucks. What a hack she is.

Do Not Attempt to naysay what I just said.
chardoney read my blog view my photos
May 15, 2008 | 5:51 PM

Hey, kev, I'm give'n you a "shout-out", too..... "Hi, Kevin!!."

Photobucket

KevinBoie_FOX4 read my blog view my photos
May 15, 2008 | 6:00 PM

I have to admit I love Judge Judy. My coworker, Alice, made a cutout of her for my desk. She attached a caption bubble to her head that reads, "I wish I could be strict with you, Kevin." It always makes me smile.
KevinBoie_FOX4 read my blog view my photos
May 15, 2008 | 6:12 PM

Judy pic here: http://community.myfoxdfw.com/photos/ShowPhoto.aspx?aid
=22547&un=KevinBoie_FOX4&page_no=8
KevinBoie_FOX4 read my blog view my photos
May 15, 2008 | 6:12 PM

Hi, Char.
Brokenhalo
May 15, 2008 | 6:59 PM

Kevin, I figured you for a considerable bit more intelligent.
chardoney read my blog view my photos
May 15, 2008 | 8:13 PM

IF/whatever kev lacks in a "bit more intelligence", he makes up for in the cuteness factor.
cowboyswife58 read my blog view my photos
May 15, 2008 | 8:23 PM

I totally agree with ya Kev, so many stupid people out there now just looking for an easy way to get someone else's money.There should be fines for trying to bring silly stuff like that into court.
And Char I agree with you also on the cuteness factor lol.
skootzkitty read my blog view my photos
May 16, 2008 | 8:18 AM

Well just to play devils advocate because I am in one of those moods today [it is friday, I actually slept last night because Reno wasn't hoggin the bed] - common sense. One would think common sense would pipe in while watching and go 'entertaining but no'. Really - who in their right mind would put a $5.00 bill in their mouth? Do you KNOW where it has been?! [the mind reels and the stomach heaves with the thought]. Burger King - well that's a no brainer. They make nothing worth wrecking my SUV for, much less spend the money. While they make for slightly entertaining bits on regular TV [which is why I prefer things like PBS [yes Char I know but I do and I support PBS]] I doubt the majority of the viewing public will think 'WOW! Think I'll try that because a 5'er looks SO much better than what I got in the pantry!'

And at the risk of BH trying to slight my intelligence - Judge Judy ROCKS!
bilmorgbc read my blog
May 16, 2008 | 9:39 AM

Well as far as the lawsuit angle goes,I never thought that any judge would ever hear,much less rule in favor,of someone suing because McDonalds did not warn on the cup that their coffee was hot.But it happened.
KevinBoie_FOX4 read my blog view my photos
May 16, 2008 | 10:53 AM

I thought about McD's when I was writing the blog. I could be wrong, but I don't think the McD's suit was about warning people that coffee was hot. I think it was about that the coffee was way too hot to be serving to people. The woman who it spilled on was horribly burned, if I recall correctly. Again, I don't know remember the exact details, but if McD's coffee is 300 degrees when they served it to me, that's negligence on their part. Isn't it?
skootzkitty read my blog view my photos
May 16, 2008 | 11:19 AM

One would think! I mean you can only turn up your water heater so far, and not even close to that! 300 degrees is a bit excessive - that is more sludge than coffee!
KevinBoie_FOX4 read my blog view my photos
May 16, 2008 | 11:48 AM

300 degrees might vaporize you :-)
skootzkitty read my blog view my photos
May 16, 2008 | 1:51 PM

or at least leave a very nasty mark ; ) 'Yes I'd like my coffee please. Make sure it is hot will you?' 'How hot?' 'About 300 should do it. That way it is still warm when I get to work' Oh can I have an oven mitt to go with that? Thanks'
Klutzy2508 read my blog view my photos
May 16, 2008 | 7:14 PM

All it takes, anymore, is for someone to sneeze wrong, or give the wrong look to someone else, and they're being sued.

And, in the case of McD's, someone ordering coffee, should KNOW that it's hot. You didn't order ICED coffee, did you? It's called common sense.

I ordered an apple pie, once. One of those cinnamon apple things, that are deep fried. Now, this was before they started putting the caution signs on hot food. I got it back to my shop, and started to bite into it, and it broke all over my hand.

This hot, gooey, apple pie filling was stuck on my hand. Fortunately, one of my employees had worked at a hospital, and they dumped out a soda and crammed my burned hand down into the ice. That stopped it from blistering, but it was still burned.

Did I sue????????NNNOOOO. I would never have thought of that. I just figured it was my fault, because I should have known that it was hot in the first place! Sigh..common sense prevailed, and I lost my case.
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