Blogs From the Crypt

"Everybody needs a little prayer sometime."

Just what I need - A reason to act like a delusional moron and talk to thin air.

I can talk to myself all I want, the only difference is I'm talking to myself; I exist. The main similarity being that neither praying or self-talk yields any satisfaction or effect.

 

Let's revise that opening statement: Everybody needs a little reality.

I leave you with this: You know this country is spiraling further down the toilet when people are killed over a few sales at shopping centers. When I say this country, I mean the complete stupidity the people love to showcase.

Enjoy your ravenous consumerist selves.

osa

I've recently written the beginnings of a book, and I need opinions.

If you wish to read it, ask me by e-mail and I will send it to you. I'm not sure if I want to leave it where it is now, or expand it.

Be warned, it is slightly graphic, but not vulgar.

My email is in my bio.

Thanks in advance.

osa

Happy thanksgiving to you and happy birthday to me.

 

 

 

 

What's so happy about it?

osa

This will not be an insightful, nor an intelligent blog. You've been warned.

The stupid bitch that made the fake MySpace profile and bullied a teenage girl into suicide is getting off with minor offenses.


They need to hang this BLEEP from the highest tree, if you ask me. What a reprehensible and senseless thing for an adult to do. Completely shameful.


Enjoy your loosened sentence, you BLEEP pile of useless human matter.


How BLEEP juvenile, to make a fake profile of a boy, lead a girl on, YOUR NEIGHBOR, then tell her the world would be better off without her. Now, this BLEEP looking bitch KNEW she was depressed, so nobody tell me that she didn't have such intentions in doing such a heinous thing. She KNEW that she wouldn't just shrug it off and say "whatever." Like she really thought that saying something like that and having no effect would consummate her if she knew she wasn't depressed. 


The saddest thing is the girl never knew it was all a hoax. 


Congratulations, you pathetic scumbag. Rot in the deepest depths of the hottest sector of Hell.

I think this country needs a reminder that the sole purposes of guns are protection, game, and showing off.

In the course of this month, there has been news of church shootings, mall shootings, and domestic shootings. Kids shooting parents, parents shooting kids, old people beaten for their guns. Kids shooting themselves accidentally. All that's left is workplace and school shootings and we'll run the gamut. It would NOT surprise me.

And now, let's get pissy.

I want to touch on this Space Station thing. It seems one of the reasons that they're wasting money this time is to install a toilet that can turn urine and waste water into... drinking water.

Isn't that just the thing? You spend years training to fly a shuttle and travel to the International Space Station to drink piss. URINE!

Here's a disturbing thought: Can they change diarrhea into drinking water? Hey, it's all up to imagination anyway! Imagine this. You just finish up a vital spacewalk, and after losing another bag of tools, you begin to feel nauseous, although the fact that tax dollars paid for it relieves you greatly.

You return to the Station to spend a penny, and ater doing so, you get thirsty! Imagine, running your piss through some machine, only to drink it later! It must suck to be the unlucky dude who figured out it wasn't working.

 

What's next, a machine that removes the corn and peanuts from your turds for future snacking? "Want last night's dinner again, without all that hassle?" Sweet Jesus.

We're in a massive economic hole, so what do we do? Spend copious amounts of cash to drink piss. Ah, America.

osa

 

Listen, teens, if there are any here other than me... you are not Evel Knievel.

You are not superhuman, you are not Hancock, and you are definitely not Jeff Gordon.

So please, stop putting this generation to shame, and STOP BEING GOD DAMN MORONS. You're not cool if you rev your engine at a red light and race another car. You're not cool if you get on top of your car and ride it while it's moving. You're not cool if you take hits of coke off of someone else's ass. Let this latest idiot teen that died racing his piece of BLEEP car be another martyr for stupidity.

I'm sick of being guilty by association. Granted, so-called "grown-ups" do some pretty stupid things too... just look at politics and read the news every day to figure that out.

OSA

What is up with all these kids killing their parents and parents killing their kids?

I am in total favor of running psychiatric evaluations and having to meet an IQ requirement before you can be allowed to own a gun. This stupid BLEEP is enough.

If your mom and dad are complete a-holes, I'm sorry, run away. Now, I will admit that some deadbeat parents deserve what they get.

If your kids are complete a-holes, do what every other impressionable feeble-minded parent does and put him on Ritalin or some other mind-numbing medication.

I'm sure a lot of you disciplinarian Texan parents will be in complete favor of the parents that shoot the kids, analogous to the parent that left his kid at McDonald's all that time ago.

 

Anyway. I turn 18 in 7 days. Poor, twisted me.

OsA

If you truly believe the world will end on 21 December 2012, it's time to organize a mass suicide for you degenerate minded cretins.

Look at it this way: You're going to die anyway! So get creative! Drink some cyanide cocktails, play Hot Potato with live grenades, play Frogger on I-20, down copious amounts of laxatives and fiber mixtures, play Chicken in a sewage treatment pond, shoot a gas line with a high powered assault rifle, eat a rat poison taco... anything! Why wait for a boring prophecy when you can finally serve a meaningful purpose: entertainment and natural selection!

Look at it as being a martyr, that's all. A martyr for stupidity.

So, all you believers, hop to it, there's not much time left! The gene pool needs all the depth it can get!

This message brought to you by A-holes Anonymous

Note: Notice this is in the Entertainment section. If you are too dense to realise that this is just comedic rambling, maybe you need to read a less profound, more inept-friendly blog, like putonyourbigpants' blog.

OSA-hole

I find it hilarious that many Conservative radicals here say that now that Obama is president, our rights have been taken away, while Bush has allowed wiretapping of our phones and the right for the government to break down your door and seize your stuff if they THINK you are a terrorist.

But no, no, I need a .50 cal Browning to protect myself at all times! Nevermind this piddly pistol BLEEP!

Ah, masculinity. That's all it is. If there were no men, there would be no assault rifle sales in the first place. I have always thought that men for the most part, are vain, greedy pigs. The ones with their "build bigger, expand more!" attitude that has this environment weeping right now, disavowing everything the Native Americans did to protect the planet after they came in, dicks-a-throbbing and called Manifest Destiny. The ones who always have to out-purchase everyone they know to make them feel like they have a bigger penis than the other guys. The ones who would nuke the BLEEP out of your country if their leader called you a wimp.

Now remember, I said for the most part, not all.

I am not a feminist by any means, so don't raid my comments box with BLEEP like that.

You heard Eddy Young, go have sex!

I'd just love to see the looks on some of the radical Conservative Christian tightwads' faces when they heard that... which is probably a quarter of all bloggers here.

"CLEATUS! CLEATUS, THIS MAN'S TELLIN' US TO HAVE SEX! HE GONNA BURN IN HELL! SEX IS FOR THE DEVIL! SEX IS EVIL!" 

Ah, seriously. These authoritarian conservative christian piss hards need to lighten up... take a page from his book.