Tell It To Tim's Blog

My kids are grown now, but I used both the "stick" and the "carrot"...LOL...Good behavior was expected, but we did reward good grades and help with chores that were not assigned. The youngest will soon be 17 and we use the carrot more now, since she doesn't have her license yet. But, I can say that I have good, responsible kids. I don't know if it was what we did, or we just got lucky, but they're very good girls.

I used both tactic's.When it came to the bribery part, it was kinda like a pick and choose deal though.I would use it only in certain instance's.It's a good thing to reward for good behavior and it's not as stressful as having to dig up that authoritave voice and threats of spanking.Come to think of it..I never was pushed as far as spanking either of my kiddo's out in public.I think I made it pretty clear to them before we would leave the house that if the "hissy fits" started while we were out,we would come back home and they would have to spend a while in their room just sitting there.They were pretty good about it too.I just tried to help them understand thing's, plus a little reverse physcology never hurt lol.

Ditto on the carrot AND stick. They did get paid for good grades and were grounded for bad ones. But I had a bit more control as one of my daughters was homeschooled.

I don't know if this is a complete thought, but- if you set your kid up to always be chasing that carrot and then one day someone can't come up with a good enough "carrot", where's his incentive to do anything if there's not "anything in it" for him?

I think alot of things should be taught because it's the "right thing to do" such as charity, getting good grades, etc. Nothing wrong with a family dinner out, or some such other thing that the child has been wanting. But I don't think the child shoiuld come to expect a toy or some other thing everytime in return for getting good grades. Mix it up a bit.

What in the world is "stick" or "carrots"???? I have never heard of such!!!!! Please clue me in....

My kids never got an allowance, were not paid for good grades, were expected to do chores, because that was part of being in the family.
Praise for what they do Good..lots of praise and love..and hopr You do the right things...
I knew where they were most the time, since the twins hung out at the rodeo that was easy, and their little sister as well.
Thank Goodness for rodeo and horses, and Neal Gay and His family!
When they began driving they had to buy their own cars. Get a job, and work for what You want.

PLEASE KEEP WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN DOING ON GOOD DAY TIM RYAN

I have 2 great daughters and 5 wonderful grand kids-all grown and doing well. we always just expected our kids to live up to certain things..good grades..behave themselves..be respectful of others..I also had a small leather belt as "corporal punishment" when nothing else helped. They spent lots of time sitting in the middle of the floor with knees touching staring at each other until they could quit arguing/fighting.They received allowances..until old enough to work part time for extras they wanted..We gave them their first car, but they paid for gas. We always thought they should be allowed to express their thoughts to us as long as it was respectful - Some times a "no" was changed to a "yes" by us...Bottom Line!!We tried to teach nothing is life is free, you will make mistakes along the way but you will always come back...They still seem to have this lesson ans have passed on to their kids.

I expected my kids to behave in the grocery store if they were told to. They did not get rewarded, as they were getting supper. I do reward good grades and achieving personal goals. I expect a passing grade (C), I reward an A and sometimes B if earned. Kids have too much as it is. Funny how they ask for things at the store, if they have money from a Birthday or Christmas gift, and you tell them they can buy it with their money, how quickly, they change their mind. If they earn it, they appreciate it, if it's given, it's taken for granted.

No bribery is not good for kids.. give them two choices and give them the pros and cons for those choices..this will also teach them that, you live with choices good or bad..kids today don't want to take responsibilty for themselves or their actions.. The Bible doesn't say spare the rod spoil the child. It says spare the rod you hate the child. It's time for parent to stand up and raise their children and not leave it to schools and the goverment. I'm by no means saying anyone should abuse their children but Dr. spocks methods didn't even work for his own child.