The Boogles's Blog

You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."

A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds: "Husband Wanted". Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished .

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

A young son asked, "Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."
Then there was a woman who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then, it was too late."

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life
Thinking they had no faults at all.

First guy says, "My wife's an angel!" Second guy remarks, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

"A Woman's Prayer: Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man , to Love and to forgive him , and for patience, For his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death"

AND NOW FOR THE FAVORITE!!!
Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy." The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut the hell up."

This explains why I forward jokes.

A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead.

   He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them.

 After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.

When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.  

When he was close enough, he called out, "Excuse me, where are we?"  

"This is Heaven, sir," the man answered.  

"Wow! Would you happen to have some water?" the man asked.

"Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up."

The man gestured, and the gate began to open.

"Can my friend," gesturing toward his dog, "come in, too?" the traveler asked.  

"I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets."  

The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog. 

After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence.  

As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.  

"Excuse me!" he called to the man. "Do you have any water?"

"Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there, come on in." 

"How about my friend here?" the traveler gestured to the dog. 

"There should be a bowl by the pump." 

They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it. 

The traveler filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog. 

When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree. 

"What do you call this place?" the traveler asked.  

"This is Heaven," he answered. 

"Well, that's confusing," the traveler said. "The man down the road said that was Heaven, too." 

"Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's hell."  

"Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?" 

"No, we're just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind."

Soooo  

Sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding jokes to us without writing a word.

Maybe this will explain.  

When you are very busy, but still want to keep in touch, guess what you do? You forward jokes. 

When you have nothing to say, but still want to keep contact, you forward jokes. 

When you have something to say, but don't know what, and don't know how, you forward jokes. 

Also to let you know that you are still remembered, you are still important, you are still loved, you are still cared for, guess what you get?  

A forwarded joke. 

So, next time if you get a joke, don't think that you've been sent just another forwarded joke, but that you've been thought of today and your friend on the other end of your computer wanted to send you a smile.

You are all welcome @ my water bowl anytime

One starts to greet the other in Arabic.

The other waves him off contemptuously and says

"We're in America now, speak Spanish"