fretfall's Blog

KNOW YOUR STATE MOTTO..........


Alabama
Hell Yes, We Have Electricity.

Alaska
11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!

Arizona
Yes, But It's A Dry Heat.

Arkansas
Lituracy Ain't Everythang.

California
By 30, Our Women Have More
Plastic Than Your Honda.

Colorado
If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother.

Connecticut
Like Massachusetts, only smaller.

Delaware
We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water.

Florida
Ask Us About Our Grandkids
And Our Voting Skills.

Georgia
We Put The Fun In Fundamentalist Extremism.

Hawaii
Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru
(Death To Mainland Scum,Leave Your Money)

Idaho
More Than Just Potatoes...
Well, Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good

Illinois
Please, Don't Pronounce the "S"

Indiana
2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free

Iowa
We Do Amazing Things With Corn

Kansas
First Of The Rectangle States

Kentucky
Five Million People;
Fifteen Last Names

Louisiana
We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign.

Maine
We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster

Maryland
If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It

Massachusetts
Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's And Our Senators Are More Corrupt!

Michigan
First Line Of Defense From The Canadians

Minnesota
10,000 Lakes... And 10 Zillion Mosquitoes

Mississippi
Come visit And Feel Better About Your Own State

Missouri
Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work

Montana
Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-wing Crazies, and Honest Elections!

Nebraska
Ask About Our State Motto Contest

Nevada
Hookers and Poker!

New Hampshire
Go Away And Leave Us Alone

New Jersey
You Want A ##$%##! Motto?
I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right here!

New Mexico
Lizards Make Excellent Pets

New York
You Have The Right To Remain Silent,
You Have The Right To An Attorney...
And No Right To Self Defense!

North Carolina
Tobacco Is A Vegetable

North Dakota
We Really Are One Of The 50 States!

Ohio
At Least We're Not Michigan

Oklahoma
Like The Play, But No Singing

Oregon
Spotted Owl... It's What's For Dinner

Pennsylvania
Cook With Coal

Rhode Island
We're Not REALLY An Island

South Carolina
Remember The Civil War?
Well, We Didn't Actually Surrender Yet

South Dakota
Closer Than North Dakota

Tennessee
Home of the Al Gore Invention Museum.

Texas
Se Hable Ingles

Utah
Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus

Vermont
Too liberal for the Kennedys

Virginia
Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?

Washington
Our Governor can out-fraud your Governor!

West Virginia
One Big Happy Family...Really!

Wisconsin
Come Cut the Cheese!

Wyoming
Where Men Are Men... And The Sheep Are Scared
Home of Brokeback Mtn.

The District of Columbia
The Work-Free Drug Place!

A man was walking home alone late one foggy night, when he hears:

BUMP...

BUMP...

BUMP... behind him.

Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him

BUMP...

BUMP...

BUMP...

Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him

faster...

faster...

BUMP...

BUMP...

BUMP...

He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him.

However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping

clappity-BUMP...

clappity-BUMP...

clappity-BUMP...

on his heels the terrified man runs.

Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.

With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door.

Bumping and clapping toward him.

The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup!

Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket...

and,







(hopefully you're ready for this!!!)

















The coffin stops!

***got this from my mom's blog :-)***

Cell Phone vs. Bible

I wonder what would happen if we treated our Bible like we treat our cell phones?

What if we carried it around in our purses or pockets?

What if we turned back to go get it if we forgot it?

What if we flipped through it several times a day?

What if we used it to receive messages from the text?

What if we treated it like we couldn't live without it?

What if we gave it to kids as gifts?What if we used it as we traveled?

What if we used it in case of an emergency?

What if we upgraded it to get the latest version?

This is something to make you go...hmmm...where is my Bible?

Oh, and one more thing.


Unlike our cell phone, we don't ever have to worry about our Bible being disconnected because Jesus already paid the bill!

These are all legitimate Web sites that are -
churches, businesses, and professional people who -
in naming their sites - failed to consider that -
pushing the words together - created - something else.

Here are Just a Few Examples....

"Who represents": http://www.whorepresents.com

"Experts Exchange": http://www.expertsexchange.com

"Pen Island": http://www.penisland.net

"Therapist Finder": http://www.therapistfinder.com

"Power Gen Italia": http://www.powergenitalia.com

"Mole Station Nursery": http://www.molestationnursery.com

IP (computer) Anywhere": http://www.ipanywhere.com

"First Cumming (Methodist Church): http://www.cummingfirst.com

And last but not least: "Speed of Art": http://www.speedofart.com

3 women-- one German, one japanese and a hillbilly-- were sitting naked in a sauna. Suddenly there was a beeping sound. The German woman pressed her forearm and the bleep stopped. The others looked at her questionably.

"That was my pager," she said. I have a microchip under the skin of my arm."

A few minutes later, a phone rang. The Japanese woman lifted her palm to her ear. When she finished she explained, "That was my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand."

The hillbilly woman felt decidedly low tech. Not to be outdone, she decided she had to do something just as impressive.

She stepped out of the sauna and went to the bathroom. She returened with a piece of toilet paper hanging from her behind. The other raised their eyebrows and stared at her. The hillbilly woman finally said, "Well, will you look at that. I'm getting a fax."

Stupidly cheesy I know. Why do I hear boos and hisses? lol