furbie's Blog

 I'm sure some of our fellow bloggers will find this helpful !

Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.

Please select from the following options menu:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want,

stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell You which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, hang up. It doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 9-6-9-6.

If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. But Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. Our operators are too busy to talk with you.

If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.

If you are blonde, don't press any buttons. You'll just mess it up.

This coming week is National Mental Health Care week. You can do your part by remembering to contact at least one unstable person to show you care.

(Well, my job is done . Your turn!!)

 The takeover of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, by the government -

is today's winner !

 The foxes are watching the hen houses again.

 We all know what a fine job our government can do with control of anything !

 The magic money wand will be working overtime for the rest of the year, for sure !

  Peeping Tom




This girl I know lives on the 4th floor of an apartment,
and even though it is a fairly good neighborhood,
she has been having trouble with a Peeping Tom that lives next door...

Every time she goes out on her balcony to catch a bit of sun while wearing her bikini, this Peeping Tom looks over from his balcony as soon as she removes her top, and stares at her...

She has complained to the superintendent about this Peeping Tom, but he says she must have positive proof before he can do a thing --
She FINALLY got a picture of him while he was staring at her...

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 We did it America :  we cut back on driving, as our leaders asked of us, (50 billion fewer miles in one year)

and now the FHTF ( Federal Highway Trust Fund ) will be out of money by the end of this month !

"Consume less" has been on all our representatives lips, since the rising gas prices started. Now they are not getting enough tax dollars to keep the infastructures up.

 

 The FHTF needs to be bailed out by the General Fund, to the tune of eight billion dollars !

It takes 40 million dollars per month to keep up the maintenance and building of transportation in the U.S. !

 Where do they get off calling it a TRUST FUND ? 

 Trust them to waste $40 million a month ? They've lost my TRUST, for sure !

 They spend most of this money building toll roads, so they can collect taxes, that go into the General Fund, so they can bail out the Federal Highway Trust Fund  ! ? ? ?

 Seems I missed all the classes on : How To Bamboozle Tax Dollars !

 (don't think any of our representatives missed any classes)

  

 I saw a news report this morning on tv (have no idea what channel it was on), where certain Texas towns are doing away with food trays in the lunch rooms !

 They claim it waste too much water and energy to clean and use these trays.

 In the clip, it showed personnel handing each kid a plate - with their bare hands !

 Guess they don't care if the kids get their germs, as long as the school is  going  GREEN   and saving the world  !

 Can't wait to see how much water and energy it's going to take to clean up all the food and drinks off the floors and fixtures.

 Small kids can barely handle a tray, much less carrying everything without one.

 Master minds at work - I guess !

 Why in the world would anyone chase after a hat, on a roller coaster track ?

 I always thought a track meant there was some type of train using it.

 Of course, it was in California !

 Didn't know those dudes wore hats - sure hope it wasn't a cowboy hat from one of our Texans.

Naw - they wouldn't have climbed that fence, they would have sent in a professional fence climber from Mexico !

Michael Moore will be on the Larry King Live Show tonight, to bash away at the Republican party.

 Be sure to watch it, so you can tell your children the reason why it's so harmful to be obese and brain dead !

  Armed Man in Wheelchair Steals Condoms, Energy Drinks !

Now there's a criminal with a plan !  Talk about ego !

That dude in Dallas is ready for anything - armed with a knife and a baseball bat & carrying condoms and energy drinks :

Watch out Dallas !      No woman is safe , not so sure about the men either !

 Hope he doesn't show up at the convention in St.Paul tonight -

he might bring down the house !