Mach.80's news room

Couldn't be more true~~
 
  
Scenario: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school
parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
 
      1967 - Vice principal comes over to look at Jack's shotgun. He goes to
his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
 
      2007 - School goes into lock-down, and FB I is called. Jack is hauled
off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for
traumatized students and teachers. 

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Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
 
   1967 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up best friends.



  2007 - Police called. SWAT team arrives. Johnny and Mark are arrested and charged with assault. Both are expelled even though Johnny started it.


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Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.
 
      1967 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the
principal. He returns to class, sits still, and does not disrupt class again.
 
      2007 - Jeffrey is diagnosed with ADD and given huge doses of Ritalin.
Becomes a zombie. School gets extra money from State because Jeffrey has a learning disability.
 
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Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
 
      1967 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to
college, and becomes a successful businessman.
 
      2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is placed in
foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist convinces Billy's sister that
she remembers being abused herself, and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.


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Scenario: Mark has a headache and brings some aspirin to school.
 
      1967 - Mark takes aspirin in lunchroom and headache goes away.
 
      2007 - Police called. Mark is expelled from school for drug violations.
Car is searched for drugs and weapons.

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Scenario: Pedro fails English in high school.
 
      1967 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, and goes to college.
 
      2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear
nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is
racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher.
English banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given a diploma anyway but ends up mowing
lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.


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Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July,
puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, and blows up a fire ant hill.
 
      1967 - Ants die.
 
      2007 - Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms, Homeland Security, and FBI called. Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. The FBI investigates parents; siblings are removed from home; computers are confiscated. Johnny's dad goes on Terror Watch List and is never allowed to fly again.
 

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Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his
knee. He is found crying by his teacher who hugs him to comfort
him.
 
   1967 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.

   2007 - Teacher is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces three years in state prison. Johnny undergoes five years of therapy