Mach.80's news room

This is an ugent message from President Bush on the topic of Global Warming!

You know it amazes me that my cell phone will work in HollyYorkAzonaSouthAmeriland and PhilaWarePragueAcago but I can barely get reception in my own home in Plano'leTexasAmerica, even on the G3.

I guess its one of those things where you sit and scratch your head and say, "What the *&@!".  Don't you just love those AT&T commercials.

Have a good one, Cya

Couldn't be more true~~
 
  
Scenario: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school
parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
 
      1967 - Vice principal comes over to look at Jack's shotgun. He goes to
his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
 
      2007 - School goes into lock-down, and FB I is called. Jack is hauled
off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for
traumatized students and teachers. 

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>>>
 
 
Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
 
   1967 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up best friends.



  2007 - Police called. SWAT team arrives. Johnny and Mark are arrested and charged with assault. Both are expelled even though Johnny started it.


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>>>>>>>>>>>>
 
Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.
 
      1967 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the
principal. He returns to class, sits still, and does not disrupt class again.
 
      2007 - Jeffrey is diagnosed with ADD and given huge doses of Ritalin.
Becomes a zombie. School gets extra money from State because Jeffrey has a learning disability.
 
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>>>>>>>>>>>>>

 
Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
 
      1967 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to
college, and becomes a successful businessman.
 
      2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is placed in
foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist convinces Billy's sister that
she remembers being abused herself, and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.


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>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
 
Scenario: Mark has a headache and brings some aspirin to school.
 
      1967 - Mark takes aspirin in lunchroom and headache goes away.
 
      2007 - Police called. Mark is expelled from school for drug violations.
Car is searched for drugs and weapons.

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>>>>>>>>>>>>
 
 
Scenario: Pedro fails English in high school.
 
      1967 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, and goes to college.
 
      2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear
nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is
racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher.
English banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given a diploma anyway but ends up mowing
lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.


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>>>>>>>>>>>>>



Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July,
puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, and blows up a fire ant hill.
 
      1967 - Ants die.
 
      2007 - Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms, Homeland Security, and FBI called. Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. The FBI investigates parents; siblings are removed from home; computers are confiscated. Johnny's dad goes on Terror Watch List and is never allowed to fly again.
 

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>>>>>>>>>>>>
 
Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his
knee. He is found crying by his teacher who hugs him to comfort
him.
 
   1967 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.

   2007 - Teacher is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces three years in state prison. Johnny undergoes five years of therapy

WRITTEN BY A 15 yr. old SCHOOL KID IN ARIZONA:
New Pledge of Allegiance (TOTALLY AWESOME and sad that it's all so true) !

Since the Pledge of Allegiance and The Lord's Prayer are not allowed in most
public schools anymore Because the word "God" is mentioned....
A kid in Arizona wrote the attached NEW School prayer :

Now I sit me down in school
where praying is against the rule

For this great nation under God
Finds mention of Him very odd.

If Scripture now the class recites,
It violates the Bill of Rights.

And anytime my head I bow
Becomes a Federal matter now.

Our hair can be purple, orange or green,
That's no offense; it's a freedom scene.

The law is specific, the law is precise.
Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice.

For praying in a public hall
Might offend someone with no faith at all.

In silence alone we must meditate,
God's name is prohibited by the state.

We're allowed to cuss and dress like freaks,
And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks.

They've outlawed guns, but FIRST the Bible.
To quote the Good Book makes me liable.

We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen,
And the 'unwed daddy,' our Senior King.

It's "inappropriate" to teach right from wrong,
We're taught that such "judgments" do not belong.

We can get our condoms and birth controls,
Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles.

But the Ten Commandments are not allowed,
No word of God must reach this crowd.

It's scary here I must confess,
When chaos reigns the school's a mess.

So, Lord, this silent plea I make:
Should I be shot; My soul please take!

Amen