mgm76's Blog

To:             YOU
Date:            TODAY
From:           GOD
Subject:       YOURSELF
Reference:   LIFE

This is God.  To day I will be handling All of your problems for you .  I do Not need your help.  So, have a nice day.
I love you.

P.S.  And, remember...
If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, do Not attempt to resolve it yourself!  Kindly put it in the SFGTD (something for God to do) box. I will get to it in MY TIME.  All situations will be resolved, but in My time, not yours.  

Once the matter is placed into the box, do not hold on to it by worrying about it.  Instead, focus on all the wonderful things that are present in your life now. 
 

Should you decide to send this to a friend; Thank you. You may have touched their life in ways you will never know!

Now, you have a nice day.

                           God
 
God has seen you struggling,
God says it's over.
A blessing is coming your way. If you believe in God.

 

 

The woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove
Seemed way too qualified for the job.
          "Look Miss," said the foreman, "have you any actual
Experience in picking lemons?"
"Well, as a matter if fact, yes!" she replied.
"I've been divorced three times."

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------- -----
An  man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can
Remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.
The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me
the exact words that were used to put the curse on you."
The  man says without hesitation,
"I now pronounce you man and wife."

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------- -----
    Reason Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder:
  All the DNA is the same.

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I was in the express lane at the store quietly fuming.
Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the check-out line pushing a cart piled high with groceries.
Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward looked into the cart and asked sweetly, "So which six items would you like to buy?"

Wouldn't it be great if that happened more often?

----------------------------------------------------- --------------
The reason congressmen try so hard to get re-elected is that they
would hate to have to make a living under the laws they've passed.
 
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-------- ----
All eyes were on the radiant bride as her father
Escorted her down the aisle. They reached the altar to the waiting groom;
the bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand.
The guests in the front pews responded with ripples of laughter.  
Even the priest smiled broadly.  As her father gave her away in marriage,
the bride gave him back his credit card.

---------------------------------------------------- ---------------
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
 
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 Three friends from the local  congregation were asked, "When you're in your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?"  
Artie said: "I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man."
Eugene commented: "I would like them to say I was a wonderful
teacher and servant of God who made a huge difference in people's lives."
Al said: "I'd like them to say, "Look, he's moving!"

---------------------------------------------------- ---------------
 Smith climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God.

Looking up, he asks the Lord... "God, what does a million years mean to you?"
The Lord replies, "A minute."
Smith asks, "And what does a million dollars mean to you?"
The Lord replies, "A penny."
Smith asks, "Can I have a penny?"
The Lord replies, "In a minute."

--------------------------------------------------- ----------------

John was on his deathbed and gasped pitifully.  
"Give me one last request, dear," he said.  
"Of course, John," his wife said softly.  
"Six months after I die," he said, "I want you to marry Bob."
"But I thought you hated Bob," she said.  
With his last breath John said, "I do!"

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------- --------
A man goes to see the Rabbi. "Rabbi, something terrible is happening
and I have to talk to you about it."  
The Rabbi asked, "What's wrong?"  
The man replied, "My wife is poisoning me."  
The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, "How can that be?"
The man then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me,
what should I do?"  
The Rabbi then offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her,
I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know."  
A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, "Well, I spoke to your wife. I spoke to her on the phone for three hours.
You want my advice?"
The man said yes and the Rabbi replied, "Take the poison."

 

 

Why do we love children?


1) NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, 'Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!'


2) OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents.'


3) KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. 'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle.'


4) MORE NUDITY


A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, 'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?'

5) POLICE # 1
While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, 'Are you a cop? Yes,' I answered and continued writing the report. My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?' 'Yes, that's right,' I told her. 'Well, then,' she said as she extended her foot toward me, 'would you please tie my shoe?'


6) POLICE # 2
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. 'Is that a dog you got back there?' he asked.
'It sure is,' I replied.
Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the
Van. Finally he said, 'What'd he do?'

7) ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. A s I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, 'The tooth fairy will never believe this!'

8) DRESS-UP
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit.'
'And why not, darling?'
'You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.'

9) DEATH
While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.
The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: 'Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he goooes.' (I want this line used at my funeral!)

10) SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. 'I'm just wasting my time,' she said to her mother. 'I can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!'

11 ) BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.
'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out.
'What have you got there, dear?'
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, 'I think it's Adam's underwear!'
 
NOW IF THIS DIDN'T BRIGHTEN YOUR DAY, GO BACK TO BED AND FORGET IT.

 

I was wondering.  Brian Lonecar was in that bad accident.  What ever happened?  I never really heard anything after he was taken to the hospital.  Does anyone know?

The weather is bad.  Fox 4 always cuts in on EVERYTHING for bad weather.  Why not tonight?  Everyone else is.  I don't get it.  I'm glad but if you don't have do do it when you really want something on then why do it to daytime programming?    American Idol is more important than tornados in our area?  I think not.  NOW we can wait for when the news comes on.  Oh Please!

Subject: If Tomorrow Starts Without Me Size: 12 KB

 If Tomorrow Starts Without Me

"If tomorrow starts without me,
 And I'm not there to see,
 If the sun should rise and find your eyes
 all filled with tears for me;

 I wish so much you wouldn't cry
 the way you did today,
 While thinking of the many things,
 We didn't get to say.

 I know how much you love me,
 As much as I love you,
 And each time that you think of me,
 I know you'll miss me too;

 But when tomorrow starts without me,
 Please try to understand,
 that an angel came and called my name,
 And took me by the hand,

 And said my place was ready,
 In heaven far above,
 And that I'd have to leave behind
 all those I dearly love.

 But as I turned to walk away,
 A tear fell from my eye,
 For all my life, I'd always thought,
 I didn't want to die.
 I had so much to live for,
 So much left yet to do,
 it seemed almost impossible,
 that I was leaving you.
 I thought of all the yesterdays,
 The good ones and the bad,
 I thought of all that we shared,
 And all the fun we had.

 If I could relive yesterday,
 Just even for a while,
 I'd say good-bye and kiss you
 and maybe see you smile.

 But then I fully realized,
 That this could never be,
 For emptiness and memories,
 would take the place of me.

 And when I thought of worldly things,
 I might miss some tomorrow,
 I thought of you, and when I did,
 My heart was filled with sorrow.

 But when I walked through heaven's gates,
 I felt so much at home.
 When God looked down and smiled at me,
 From His great golden throne,

 He said, "This is eternity,
 And all I've promised you."
 Today your life on earth is past,
 but here life starts anew.

 I promise no tomorrow,
 But today will always last,
 and since each day is the same way,
 There's no longing for the past.

 So when tomorrow starts without me,
 don't think we're far apart,
 For every time you think of me,
 I'm right here, in your heart."

 May God watch over you and your family now and always.