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Christmas has been put on hold.

“I haven’t seen it this slow since the winter of 1964, when Rudolph saved the day with his nose so bright”, said head elf Sam. Sam has overseen toy production ever since Henry Ford’s engineers perfected the assembly line in 1913. “Bernard used to be the head elf, but he simply couldn’t change with the times – he was holding us back.”

Production has dramatically increased under the command of Sam, and the numbers speak for themselves. But maybe it isn’t just the advent of the assembly line. There’s something special about Sam. He possesses a certain swagger and magic that motivates the rest of the elves to work their hardest and very best. Some call it charisma, but Sam says, “I just put a little something extra in their hot cocoa.”

But the usual hustle and bustle of the North Pole has grown to a near grinding halt. Big Papa “S”, as he has come to be known around the break room, has been summoned to court. And it’s not for jury duty.

“I’m worried sick about my husband. He just hasn’t been his usual self since he received the request to appear in court”, Mrs. Clause is overheard telling the associated press over the elf telephone. When asked whether or not she would appear alongside her husband, she responded, “of course. It worked for Kobe.”

But this particular trial isn’t over doubts that Mr. Clause isn’t being faithful to Mrs. Clause. No, this is far worse.

It all started in 2003 when the ACLU took on a campaign to get signatures all across the United States to take a stand against Santa’s overbearing, judgmental character. Having a child’s name placed on a sheet of paper labeled the “Naughty List” is simply too much for any young one to bear.

“I suffered for years as a result of receiving coal in my stockings back in 1999”, said one child from Massachusetts. The psychology bills have added up to millions of dollars, and angry parents are demanding that Santa pay the brunt of it.

“He can’t be responsible for the actions of the children,” Santa’s defense attorney told us, “ultimately, the actions of the children lies solely on the child’s upbringing. Hence, the responsibility is on the parents.”

But Senator Clinton has a different stance, “It takes an entire village, idiot, to raise a child”. (In her defense, we didn’t know if she was actually calling us here at ‘Frog Leg Presses’ an idiot, or if she was stating that it actually takes a “village idiot” to raise a child. Attempts to reach her for clarification have been futile).

Right now the ACLU is trying to determine how Santa differentiates between right and wrong.

“He simply cannot make that judgment call on his own!” says one ACLU lawyer. “If it is found to be the Bible that Santa bases his moral code on, then you can be certain we will bring another suit against him, as he is in clear violation of the “establishment clause”….er, no pun intended.

We will have more for you as this story continues to develop.