scottythecomic's whimsical rantings

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you would have $49.00 today.

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you would have $33.00 today.

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you will have $0.00 today.

But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the aluminum cans for recycling refund, you would have received $214.00.

Based on these statistics, the best current investment strategy is to drink heavily and recycle. It's called the 401Keg plan.

Sensationalism and widespread panic swooped down on the US Postal center where a gazillion po-po and a Haz-Mat team rolled in like a scene straight out of Emergency 51.

I watched Fox 4 as usual.  Lynn Kawano spoke of the postal employees who complained of "watering eyes" and "difficulty breathing."  I kept the channel on 4...only to find out that the suspicious package turned out to be a box of rocks.  I mean, that's all good and all, but how the heck does one suffer watering eyes and difficulty breathing from a box of rocks?

Then it hit me.  The package was entirely too heavy for an employee to lift so he or she gasped for breath.  Others emerged per their supervisor's orders to get the box moving, only to meet with the same fate. Still others cried that they might have to work. Soon there were several employees crying and gasping for breath.

It wasn't long before someone stated that Betty Jean Badback was gasping for breath because of a suspicios package and the rumor spread like fog in a haunted house. Disco Dan, the wanna-be mailman, overheard the rumor and called 911.

Thge next thing you know 700 plus postal employees are breathing a real sigh of relief because they're standing outside and not having to handle the plethora of news ads from Berkshires and postcards from Tom Thumb.

In the end all were safe and sound and our mail was delayed yet again.  The good news is that stamp prices will likely increase soon.

Oh, and that box of rocks?  Rumor has it they were replacement brains for DISD administrators and the Dallas City Council.

I heard it on the news so it must be true.

To be sung to the tune of "Another Brick In the Wall Part 2"

Kids still need an education
No flakes like Hinojosa
No politics inside the classroom
Michael, leave them kids alone
Hey! Michael! Leave them kids alone!
All in all it's just another sham on us all.
All in all you're a crying shame to us all.

We don't need your administration

Dont need your silly thought control
No preferences in the classroom
Michael leave them teachers alone
Hey! Michael! Leave them teachers alone!
All in all you’re a crying shame to us all.
All in all  just a poor failure for us all.

Yesterday I was at the Woodforest National Bank at the Wal-Mart on Frankford and Marsh. I was picking up a debit card that had come in.  I left the bank/store and, when I got to my car, saw that a man and a woman were behind my car.

I checked to see if all was well as the man was on his knees. He had dropped a coffee pot and cut himself. Meanwhile, I left my wallet and new card on the roof of my car and, like a dope, drove off.

I got down the road 2 miles when I realized what I'd done. Before I could get half way back my bank called. A lady had turned in my wallet, card and had disappeared.  Gary, one of the tellers said he didn't know what the lady's name was.  Then she appeared in the woman's area shopping for clothes.

I approached her, thanked her and offered her a reward for her honesty. She adamantly refused. Were it not for her being on the spot where my items were lost along with her honesty, my movie would have been ruined. You see, all my budget was in that bank and on that card, not to mention my other cards, cash etc in that wallet. Not one thing was missing.

God bless Michelle and others like her who do the right thing. Michelle owns a Shaved Ice business near Josey.  What a class act! And thanks to my bankers there at Woodforest for their promptness. What a crew!

Thanks again, Michelle!

A Swedish news agency has found a short film clip of John McCain after being released from a Hanoi prison in 1973.

http://svt.se/svt/jsp/Crosslink.jsp?d=22584&a=1243
689&lid=puff_1243756&lpos=lasmer

My friend Richard Hernandez has been missing for nearly a week.  He was last seen leaving the Wal-Mart at Frankford Rd and Marsh Lane where he worked last Wednesday evening.

Police found his cell phone at his apartment at the Rosemeade Court apartments at Midway and Rosemeade. Unfortunately, they also found blood.

Richard is an easy going man who'd give you the shirt off his back. He is a Latin man and is described as being 5-foot-6 and 145 pounds, with brown hair and brown eyes. He also has a scar over his left eye.

Anyone with information can call Detective D.A. Thompson at 214-283-4824.

Please help us find him and pray for his safety as well as safe return.

It's bad enough that we (the USA) let the Saudi's off the hook with regard to 9/11.  But now there is a book written and distributed by the Saudi's around the world that gives the following multiple choice question to it's 4th-grade students:

Q. Is belief true in the following instances:

(a) A man prays but hates those who are virtuous.

(b) A man professes that there is no deity othe than God but loves the unbelievers.

(c) A man worships God alone, loves the believers, and hates the unbelievers.

What is the correct answer according to Islam?

The Wahhabi imams who wrote the book say C is the correct answer. Not only do they teach that it is right to hate unbelievers in Islam, but the unbelievers in this context are Christians and Jews. In fact, by the 9th grade all students learn that on Judgment Day the "rocks and trees" will call out to Muslims to kill.

But hey, Islam is just another peaceful religion.

Source here

Billy Howard is a lowlife. But that's my opinion.  Howard owns Howard Industries in Laurel, MS.  His manufacturing  plant makes dozens of products from medical supplies to transformers.  It has also made quite a mess.  You see, Howard employed illegal invaders by the literal hundreds.

That's where ICE comes in. They raided the Mississippi plant Monday afternoon and detained approximately 350 illegals. Of those, 50 women were allowed to be fitted with ankle monitors so they could care for their children.

Billy Howard claimed that the company used a policy that hired only U.S. citizens. Yeah, right, Billy. Someone would have to know illegals were employed there. There's no doubt about it.

Fear has spread through the community as a rumor spread that ICE would begin going door to door to apprehend illegals.  Many illegal residents took refuge in a local church, afraid to return to their homes.  I believe it's a clever rumor, one that will hopefully see illegals head to their native countries even as I type this.

Some people and groups are already criticizing the government.  That figures. Ignoring the law they'll hem and haw demanding "rights".  Still others worry about the humanitarian factor, that is, the families being separated by the arrests. I say tough luck.  Those that now suffer are reaping the consequences of their own decision(s) to willingly break the law.

By the way, I am all for the arrest and detainment until trial of the owner of this business, as well as any other responsible in HR.  ICE needs to continue to send messages that this flagrant lawbreaking will not be tolerated.

By the way, did I miss this on the news? Or was it simply not reported?

UPDATE: I just found this video from the same plant in February. Check out the decal or whatever on the guys windshield.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m1PEXPs0Ouk

"If there were no elephant in the jungle, the buffalo would be a great animal."
-- Ghanaian Proverb

Seems Jenny the elephant is as popular as Olympic gold medalist, Michael Phelps. As Tommy Tutone sang:

Jenny, Jenny, you're the girl for me.
You don't know me but you make me so happy.
I tried to call you before but I lost my nerve.
I tried my imagination, but I was disturbed.

One would think that this tug-of-war between Dallas Zoo officials and various groups vying for Jenny's attention would have been resolved by now.  But hey, think again. Not only is this Dallas (which I love), but we're talking about animal activists who often as not are like having a goalie on a dart team.

Now there's an Arlington attorney, Donald Feare, who is involved on behalf of Concerned Citizens For Jenny. Oh, brother. Anyway, Mr, Feare specializes in animal law (good for him) and has filed a formal protest with the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service Division. He and others are attempting to keep Jenny from going to Mexico's Africam Safari Park.

But get this. Mr. Feare stated in his letter that Dallas Zoo officials' decision is "a thinly veiled excuse to get rid of a problematic elephant."

Say what? Didn't you mean to say that your letter was a thinly disguised attempt to get Jenny to Tennessee so as to appease Lily Tomlin? Hmm, my bad.

Well, since I am taking the day off, I guess I'll grab my Sony Handycam and get out to the zoo. Maybe I can catch Jenny rolling up and smoking some contraband dung.  Or maybe...just maybe, I can get some tight footage of Jenny the Rogue accepting some bootleg peanuts from passersby. Surely this "problematic" elephant is up to no good and is deliberately trying to get out of Dallas with repeated bad behavior.

Oh, and Dallas Zoo officials? I'm with whatever you decide is best. Don't cowtow to political pressure. Make the call: 867-5309.

Keep your eyes glued to Fox 4 for this developing story.

The U.S. government is already fighting a losing battle with the War On Drugs. Rather than curtailment, more and more drugs continue to flood across our pourous borders, mainly from the south.

Now comes a Texas Represenative  from Waco, Charles "Doc" Anderson, who last year proposed a bill to criminalize the hallucinogenic compound, salvia.  Doc's bill failed to clear committee during last years session, thus he plans on reintroducing a version of the bill that would make the possession of salvia a misdemeanor.

I have to ask, why?

Is it truly in the interest of the citizens of Texas and/or the United States to criminalize everything that alters ones consciousness?  And what will be the result of this bill (if it passes), on those who dare choose to hallucinate...if they are caught?

To me it appears to be nothing more than a vain attempt to ruin lives, burden the taxpayers and create yet another law.  Therefore I am against it...totally.  Besides, once salvia is criminalized, it actually makes the drug more popular. Brilliant of you, Doc. Drugs can be bad enough without a campaign to popularize them.

For those unawares, salvia is an all-natural hallucinogenic that is either smoked like marijuana or chewed. The effects are near instant and are less powerful than LSD. It is available in over a half dozen locations in Dallas over the counter and, is legal in the USA.

Local hospitals have admitted that they have not seen any ER visits as a result of its usage, and this despite the fact it has been around for years. I am surprised that no one has experienced an ER vist as a result of the drug. OD'ing is not possible to the extent that you can't do enough, but I refer to the dangerous conditions presented when one indulges.

As bad as drugs can be I sincerely don't believe we do anything positive by outlawing recreational, personal usage.  It's akin to the failed draconian laws of the prohibition of alcohol.  Too, if local, state and federal law enforcement cannot curtail the myriad offenses of a deadly drug like alcohol, how can we expect them to do anything positive in curtailing a teen drug?

Your thoughts?

WARNING: STRONG LANGUAGE IN THE VIDEO

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uquo3cdIgaQ

I first heard about www.there.com on the news.  Intrigued, I jotted down the address for a later day when I wasn't so busy.  Last night was such an occasion.

So what is it? Well, There is a virtual community, a place where one can intermingle with others in a second world of sorts. You create a character and give him or her a name. But it isn't just a game or a place to hang out, but there is money to be made on There.

Joining is free. But if you want to improve your character, one does so for mere pennies, yes, real money. For instance, for $9.95 you can make your avatar a premium one and this entitles you to actually open a store in There world. Some people are making $1,000 a month in There and it's only drawing more and more people.

Last night I created a person, clothed him and walked around talking to people. As time permits, I'll create vehicles for sale and see where things go. For those of you who are former chatters, imagine a chat room with characters you can move around, skateboard, ride dune buggies, etc. 

By the way, it is  Light in There 24/7. If you have time, check it out.  But be forewarned, if you like blogging and/or chatting, There can and is quickly addicting.

Here's your chance.

Whether you agree or not with the looming name change from Ross Ave. to Cesar Chavez, make your opinion known.

Simply find your district on the map and contact your council member.

Mine is Linda Koop and I have made it known to her that a vote for the name change is a vote against her in the next election.

http://www.dallascityhall.com/government/council/ad
opted_map.html