tallone66's Blog

the last one was my fav enjoy them and have a great weekend

She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful
> eyes of her young granddaughter as she'd done many times before.
> After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one
> said, "But Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!"
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> My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday.
> He asked me how old I was, and I told him, "62." He was quiet for a
> moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"
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> After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into
> old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As
> she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her
> patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and
> stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern
> warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say
> with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"
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> A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own
> childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a
> swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We
> rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The little
> girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, "I sure
> wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
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> My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you
> know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo while
> I asked, "No, how are we alike?" "You're both old," he replied.
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> A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word
> processor. She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he
> asked. "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."
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> I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I
> decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color
> it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for
> me, so I continued. At last she headed for the door, saying sagely,
> "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these
> yourself!"
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> When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept
> the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky
> insects still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did,
> Billy whispered, "It's no use, Grandpa. The mosquitoes are coming after
> us with flashlights."
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> When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not
> sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised. "mine says I'm four
> to six."
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> A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother,
> "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The
> grandmother, more
> than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting," she
> said, "how do you make babies?" "It's simple," replied the girl.
> "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."
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> Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence using the word "Pregnant", said a
> teacher.  The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder
> pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't
> you know what pregnant means?" she asked. "Sure," said the young boy
> confidently. "It meanVs carrying a child."
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> A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of
> kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the
> front seat of the truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started
> discussing the dog's duties. "They use him to keep crowds back,"
> said one child. "No," said another, "he's just for good luck." A
> third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs,"
> she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants...