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by trbingbc from Gun Barrel City, TX

Last Post 4 days, 4 hours Ago


I just want to say, I have all the appreciation in the world for stay at home moms.  I developed epilepsy from a head injury when I was 8 years old.  I tried to prove to everyone that I am the same as them, so I done everything the other kids did, from playing football to driving a car.  When I grew up, I started working full time, from sales to working in a hospital.  In February of '05, I had a car accident that didn't hurt me, but scared both me and my wife.  I have a 19 year old son, from my first wife, that wasn't living with me at the time, so I told him if he moved in with me, I would give him my truck as long as he carried me around when I needed to run errands.  Well, my son moved out after he graduated from high school, but not before he an I had an argument, I don't even remember what it was about now, I just know that anytime we talk for more than 5 minutes, we start arguing.  Anyway, I had brain surgery right after I had my accident, and had to stay off work for about 2 months, I was much slower than before, and it was harder to remember what I was suppose to do, so my boss fired me.  That was ok because due to my epilepsy, I was able to start drawing a disability check to help pay my bills.  I now make as much if not more than I was when I was working, so my income is fine.  I still find myself forgetting to do things and getting irritated at my son for things that I shouldn't get mad about.  My wife works a full time job and gets to go out of town sometimes.  She says she hates it, but I can't help but think that she enjoys getting away sometimes.  I do know that since my surgery, my wife tells me I have changed, and I am not the same person she married, and she doesn't find me as attractive as I once was.  My son is adopted because my wife can't get pregnant, so I know she isn't affraid of getting pregnant, but we haven't made love in about 9 months.  I love my son, and I love being with him, but he has made me appreciate stay at home moms much more than I use to.  All I can say is, I ask God for forgiveness for a lot more things than I use to since my son started staying home...... 

To all the stay at home mom's, You have a man here that appreciates you tremendously.
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Member Comments Total Comments: 12
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Infectious_Sense read my blog view my photos
Apr 5, 2008 | 12:51 AM

trb - I am going to be bluntly honest with you. I get a strong feeling of depression from your blog. And - honestly - you have every reason to be experiencing some depression.

I will keep you and your family in my prayers. I hope you and your wife will get some counseling.

My hubby was a stay-at-home dad for a while. He went into a depression, also. I think it is a LOT harder on men - but I don't know exactly why.

Take care and God bless.

trbingbc read my blog
Apr 5, 2008 | 10:09 AM

Thank you, and you are probably right, I am depressed, I feel like my wife doesn't love me sometimes, I feel like I am the only one taking care of our son, and I can't go anywhere with him during the day because I don't drive, but the driving issue is a big part of it I think. I appreciate you reply

ProudAmerican read my blog view my photos
Apr 5, 2008 | 11:47 AM

Men get more depressed staying home because traditionally they have been the bread winners.

cowboyswife58 read my blog view my photos
Apr 5, 2008 | 12:32 PM

9 months???OMG
Maybe there just has'nt been anytime for you and your wife to spend some good quality time alone, just the two of you. You still love her right? Are you not sure if she still loves you? You need to see if the spark is still there,and set ablaze baby.Do you still make her feel special everyday? Plan a special night for just the two of you and see how it goes.Kuddos to you for taking care of the kiddo's and staying home..it is a lot of work but its a labor of love.Get yourself out of that depression, that is nowhere to be.Pull yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again.Good luck!!!

trbingbc read my blog
Apr 5, 2008 | 2:32 PM

I have tried everything I could think of, and it hasn't seem to help. I have set up dates, and after dinner she would want to just come home and be with our son. Now I don't question her love for me, I have put her through some tough times, and I know I love her, and I am sure she loves me, but I she puts our son before us. I love her, and I want her to know that, I just can't let her know for some reason

Typing_Reason
Apr 5, 2008 | 3:43 PM

... gets to go out of town sometimes.
...think that she enjoys getting away sometimes.
...not the same person she married.
...doesn't find me as attractive.
...isn't affraid of getting pregnant.
...haven't made love in about 9 months.

Dude has it ever occurred to you that your wife might be knockin' boots with someone else?

trbingbc read my blog
Apr 5, 2008 | 6:56 PM

I considered it once, but I know my wife well enough to know she isn't messing around on me. The only reason I think she enjoys getting out of town is because it takes her from the day in and day out of her work. It is quite stressing, and I know it because I have worked with her, and I almost went with her on this last trip.

cowboyswife58 read my blog view my photos
Apr 6, 2008 | 7:07 AM

Have you tried sitting down and writing her a letter about how much you love her? Sometimes its easier to write out your feelings versus saying them to someone face to face.

trbingbc read my blog
Apr 6, 2008 | 9:07 AM

As a matter of fact, yes, I have, and somehow, I still start writing stuff that makes her mad, I get to thinking about things, and start writing things that make me mad, and in turn makes her mad at me, and we wind up fighting.

trbingbc read my blog
Apr 6, 2008 | 7:14 PM

My wife is coming in from out of town, and I have written a card for her, I hope she likes it.

cowboyswife58 read my blog view my photos
Apr 7, 2008 | 9:20 AM

So..what does make her happy?

trbingbc read my blog
Apr 7, 2008 | 11:05 AM

Lately, I don't know myself.

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trbingbc

I am a 40 yr old white retired male. I was forced to retire for health reasons. God has blessed my life tremendously, I have a 4 year old son and a 20 year old son. I am a photographer, and a born again Christian. On occasion, I do preach sermons at my church. I am also a puppeteer for children's church, and have been for about 2 or 3 years. My youngest son everyone says is going to be our churches next pastor. I love him so much. My oldest son is living with his fiance now. He has decided to get married next march, and that makes me sad since I was his age when I got married, and that didn't work. I do hope that it works out. I love both my sons very much, and my love for my children makes me understand the love God has for us. I may not be the perfect person, but I work for someone that is perfect (Jesus).

Member Since: 4/25/2007